Thursday, June 3, 2010

Just starting to bloom...or should I say fly?

How appropriate that this is the view from my workshop window today...they are planting trees in the playground across the street. The park was one of the reasons we bought this lot, that we built here. I wanted some place that was a safe and close to home for the girls start to spread their boundaries. When we moved in last August it was a huge pit of dirt covered in weeds...over the last few months, pathways were paved, and last week they installed the playground equipment. Which was a little like Christmas over here as the girls rushed to see how much more was done each day after school. It still doesn't look like much today, but the promise of what it will become is getting clearer everyday.

This is a little like how I feel about my life today. I started this new online course by Kelly Rae Roberts called "Flying Lessons". It is all about being successful at starting /running a creative business. A dear friend asked me why I was taking this class, don't I already have a creative business?...it got me thinking and my answer is simple...But do I own the business I want to own?
Truth is, though I worked (and continue to everyday) very hard to get where I am, and I have immense gratitude for the blessings I have...some of things I do have, have just fallen into place, instead of making the clear and conscious choice to do them. Somethings I knew I wanted and worked hard to get, like being asked to write for Canadian Scrapbooker Magazine....but I am struggling with where do I want to go from here ...essentially I am at a crossroads.

Where do I go from here...what do I want my life to look like? I am sure that some of what I am experiencing is because I am 39 and re-evaluating my life, and some because I feel as if, what started out as a way to share my creativity and spread joy among others has made my laptop feel like a ball and chain!

But back to my "Flying Lessons" - I am going to try and blog about my journey through this process and share what I can, with out stepping over the copyright of Kelly and her amazing insight and course.

In the first few lessons I have had two major insights...one personal, one professional.

Insight one: Kelly talks about experiencing what she calls "The Impostor Syndrome"- that when you feel like everyone around you is going to wake up and realise you shouldn't be where you are...OMG!! This is how I feel everyday!!! I felt so amazed to know that I wasn't the only person who felt this way, that if Kelly could feel this way (and she is amazing) then I wasn't out to lunch that I felt that way too! I love her fearless attitude and beliefs!

Insight two: and this was a big one....I had lost sight of my WHY!

Why do I own a kit company, Why do I teach...not why did it happen, or why I love my job...but a much deeper WHY. This is what I have to re-discover. What is it that I believe that drives me to do what I do.


8 comments:

  1. Hi Christy, I love your blog and have been following you from a bit of a distance as I see you at various functions, follow what you create and think you are very talented. Although I have never met you, I would like to. Now I'd like to follow your blog. Thanks for sharing.

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  2. Love you Babe! I'm here for the ride.

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  3. Amazing post Christy! My daughter is the same age and going through exactly the struggles you mention in your blog. She is just starting her "business" and already wonders why people think she does good work, why is she worth following, what makes her so special (her thoughts not mine!)? I can't wait to read your upcoming blogs as you travel this road. Good luck!

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  4. I think I will wear the 5 point harness for this one.....

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  5. Take it from your "old friend"... the WHY is EVERYTHING!!!! It is the wind beneath your wings (sappy, but TRUE) and what gives it ALL meaning!! And it is unfortunately easy to "lose" so therefor so vital to strategically maintain!! And soul sistas can help each other... so know that I am cheering you on, praying for you and am so anxious to share in your journey :) And thanks for the video link today... the WHY circle has me thinking myself... all good!! And through it all, know that you are amazing for just being YOU... not because of all the amazing stuff you do!

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  6. SO true, Christy! I'm taking Kelly Rae's course too. I'm 37 and I stamp, but have been really ill the past month and reevaluating the WHY and where to go from here. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts. It does feel so wonderful to know we're not alone in the fears, the questions, the search! :o)

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  7. Hi Christy, I too can see how you are feeling, I am searching for my Why too!
    In Reading your post I remembered a quote I found while taking your 101 class. Thought I would share it with you now:
    "Without a clear intention, you're on a journey with no map and no destination"

    Know I am thinking of you :)

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  8. Oh Christy you are not alone. . . .I think it is something that happens to everyone at some point or another. It can be something as simple as what to do next, or my kids are old enough that i'm not needed as much or just craving more. You are truly gifted and very lucky to be doing something that you love. . .I think if you continue to base your choices on that you will excel at whatever you do!!!Remember we are all our own worst critics!!
    Happy Scrappin'!
    Nikki

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